Humor Have some funny jokes or stories? All is fair game except political, religious or too explicit.

Nope blonds

Old 05-13-2021, 10:46 AM
  #1  
Don Sims
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Don Sims's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,678
info Nope blonds

An inebriated guy sitting sat at a bar is on his 15+ beer of the evening when he notices 3 newcomers enter the pub and sit at the bar next to him.

"Hey, wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?" he asks the nearest one.

The newcomer turns to face him and for the first time he see it's a lady with blonde hair.

"I am a high ranking detective with the FBI that has single handedly solved hundreds of cases and I happen to be blonde," she replies.

Pointing to her companion on her left, "My friend here is also blonde and happens to be a world renowned biochemist, who has found the cure for 9 different types of cancer."

Pointing to her far left, "And this young lady, who is also blonde, is an eight level dan in Jujitsu and has competed in the women's UFC for the last 3 years."

She looks back at the drunk guy, "So do you really wanna tell me this dumb blonde joke?"

Thinking about it for a second the man responds, "Nah, not if I have to explain it 3 times."
Don Sims is offline  
Old 01-29-2022, 11:06 AM
  #2  
Don Sims
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Don Sims's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,678
Default

3 blonds were walking through the woods when they saw some tracks.
The first 1 said they were deer tracks, the second said "No, those are elk tracks."
The third said "No you're both wrong those are moose tracks."
The argument continued for quite a while until a train went by.
Don Sims is offline  
Old 01-29-2022, 11:12 AM
  #3  
Don Sims
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Don Sims's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,678
Question

A new study showed that bodies recovered from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion.

Everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.
Don Sims is offline  
Old 01-29-2022, 12:26 PM
  #4  
solentlife
Super Contributor
 
solentlife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ex UK Brit now in Latvia west coast - Ventspils
Posts: 12,877
Default

Old Russian joke :

What do you call a Blonde with Car Keys ?

Monkey with hand grenade !
solentlife is offline  
Old 01-30-2022, 04:21 PM
  #5  
Don Sims
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Don Sims's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,678
Red face

A blonde, a brunette and a red head rob a bank. As they are running out carrying their stolen goods, the police begin to chase them down an alleyway.

Running down the alley, the robbers find three large sacks of potatoes to hide behind. "Quick," said the brunette, "hide behind here!"

The police come down the alley and don't see the robbers, just the big sacks on the ground.

"They must be around here!" said the first police officer as he approached the first bag. He gave it a kick and the brunette hiding behind the sack went, "Meow meow!"

"Oh it's just a cat" said the officer moving to the second bag.

Giving the second bag a kick, the red head hiding behind it shouted out, "Woof woof!"

"Oh it's just a dog" said the officer moving to the final bag.

Giving the final sack a kick, the blonde hiding behind it shouted out, "Potato potato!"
Don Sims is offline  
Old 04-02-2022, 01:29 PM
  #6  
Don Sims
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Don Sims's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,678
Question

A man asks a blonde out on a date.

Man : You want to go catch a movie later?

Blonde : Sure. Which one?

Man : I'll get us tickets for Wonder woman 84.

Blonde : Oh, then may be next weekend.

Man: Why wait that long?

Blonde: Well, I need time to watch the first 83 parts.
Don Sims is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Don Sims
Humor
0
06-08-2018 10:33 AM
Don Sims
Humor
1
08-09-2013 02:29 AM
Don Sims
Humor
1
10-19-2012 11:43 PM
Don Sims
Humor
2
12-13-2011 10:37 PM
Don Sims
Humor
2
07-16-2011 01:33 PM

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Quick Reply: Nope blonds


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.

Page generated in 0.08705 seconds with 13 queries