One Liners
06-26-2022, 12:16 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do together.. I said great. We can put some music on, have a few drinks, and assemble the avengers.
06-27-2022, 12:34 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
I never called you stupid. But when I asked you to spell "orange" and you asked if I meant the color or the fruit, it kinda caught me off guard.
06-28-2022, 12:53 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
Have you noticed, if you Google the phrase "Lost Medieval Servant Boy. "It comes back with, "This page could not be found."
06-29-2022, 11:34 AM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?
07-01-2022, 12:42 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
07-02-2022, 01:04 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
07-09-2022, 01:26 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
Celery; for those times that you have an overwhelming urge to bite into water with hair in it.
07-11-2022, 10:45 AM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’
07-19-2022, 12:08 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. I call it insta-gram.
07-20-2022, 11:51 AM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
07-25-2022, 12:44 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
What do you call a factory that makes pretty good products? A satisfactory.
Why do Seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called Bagels.
Did you hear about the two radio attenaes that got married? The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great.
When is the best time to visit your dentist? At 2:30.
07-25-2022, 12:47 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
Why did the Cowboy get a miniature dachshund for a pet? He wanted to get a long little doggie.
Do you know what a tuba player needs in order to fix a broken tuba? A tuba glue.
07-27-2022, 01:01 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
What European city has the most insects? Antwerp!
07-27-2022, 01:07 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig
07-29-2022, 11:51 AM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
Some minds are like concrete... Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
07-29-2022, 11:55 AM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
I know blond jokes are popular, but I just don't get why...
I bought a toaster from a Star Wars fan the other day. The first test was a little on the dark side.
Apple have just launched a new customer satisfaction app. iRate.
08-05-2022, 12:37 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
Sign at the Urologist's office: URINE good hands.
08-08-2022, 12:04 PM
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 15,664
Paranoia has reached absurd stages...I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
