Don Sims

A geek dies and goes to heaven.

After spending a few days there, he realizes there are a lot of people he wants to talk to, and a lot of questions he wants to ask them. He walks up to an angel and asks, "So how come we don't have iPads up here? It would be really nice to have an iPad; that way I could jot down a note about something I want to ask someone, and when I meet them, I can look it up again."

The angel says, "Dear brother, in heaven we do not need iPads to remember things for us, for we have perfect memory."

The geek replies, "But I heard rumors that in hell they have iPads. Why would they have them down there if we don't up here?"

The angel says simply, "Here's a telescope. See for yourself."

So the geek looks through the telescope. "Huh," he exclaims. "It looks like they're all looking for chargers!"

solentlife

When travelling - remember those days we sat in airports ? Well anyway ... having spent many hours sat in airports around the world - you can guarantee to see a number of people wandering around with 'white iPhone / iPad' cable in hand looking for charging point ... fact !

Don Sims

A Native American Chief had three wives, all of whom were pregnant.

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.

"Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"

The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

Don Sims

I lost my astronomy job at the observatory.

No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't stay focused.

Don Sims

Some first year university students come home from holiday for a surprise math test of 'What's 2 + 2?'

The engineer says, "Well it's 3.75, but given the situation we can round it to 5."

The mathematician goes and works for a while, then comes back saying, "I don't know what the answer is, but I know one exists."

The astrophysicist says, "Rounding to the nearest million, the answer would be 0."

The psychology student says, "Can we talk about why you are asking this question?"

The finance student subtly asks, "What do you want the answer to be?"

The sociology student wants to know the implications of this question.

The medical student, who is the last to answer, says, "Well that's easy, it's 4. I memorized it."

Don Sims

A guy on a speed date with a blond

Guy: Hello! I am John. Nice to meet you.

Girl: Nice to meet you too!! I am Jane. What do you do for a living, John?

Guy: I am an Astronomer.

Girl: OMG!! That's so cool. I am a Gemini..

Don Sims

A man dies and goes to Hell.

Satan greets him and says, "Welcome to hell, Dave. First, the wi-fi password is..."

Dave says, "Wait, you guys have wi-fi?"

Satan replies, "Of course we do."

"That's certainly not bad at all," says Dave.

Satan continues, "So, as I was saying, the wi-fi password is the number pi."

Don Sims

The density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath.

However, you wouldn’t want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.

Don Sims

An engineer and a mathematician are both interviewed for a job...

One of the interview questions is, "What is pi?"

The engineer answers, "About 3."

The mathematician is still answering to this day.

Panther

All great jokes Don. Thanks for sharing.

Don Sims

A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a "slide-rule" as well as a code device called an "abacus" that he claimed was a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values".

"They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we've determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."

As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"

crxmanpat

True story. Back in High School we were studying the periodic table. When we were finally given the test, our Science Teacher included a question for bonus points. The question was:

"What compound is expressed as BaNa2?"

























The answer: Banana!

Panther

Yeah I guessed Banana before I saw the answer.
Man I hated Al-gebra , Geometry and Triganometry. Guess what I was hopeless at it but I am still here today. I survived without it. !!

ron_van_sommeren

Especially for you

The 'full' story.
Even a seemingly small change/error in setup can result in quite an unexpected increase.
Therefore always measure current and power in a new or changed setup.
Because current and power drawn are proportional to

• pitch
• #blades
• voltage² respectively voltage³
• kv³
• diameter⁴

So even a small change/error in setup can have huge effects.
Increase in current with one or two cells added, simple table - RCG

Expensive examples.
Going from 2s to 3s, a 50% increase, would (3/2)²=2.2 fold current, more than double, 120% extra.
A 25% increase in velocity konstant kv³ would (1.25)³=2 fold current, 100% extra.
A mere 10% increase in diameter would (11/10)⁴=1.1⁴=1.4 fold current, 40% extra.

Extreme examples.
Doubling voltage would 2²=4 fold current.
Doubling velocity konstant kv³ would 2³=8 fold current.
Doubling diameter would 2⁴=16 fold current.

Panther

Argh!!! No No No Ron...

Don Sims

Went camping last weekend and woke up at three in the morning to the most amazing site of the milky way galaxy.

Where the heck is my tent?

Don Sims

There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".
The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they made the pies square instead of circular, so they would stack better. The only place in the village to have these oddly-shaped pies is at The Circle.

So, for the area of The Circle, the pie are squared.

Don Sims

A former student of a Geology professor at a major University returned one day to give the professor a gift of a unique soil sample he had collected from a river while on a trip....

To which the professor replied, "I appreciate the sediment."

Don Sims

A physicist, a mathematician, and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend.
The physicist says, "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment."

The mathematician counters with, "A wife. You have security."

The computer scientist proclaims, "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me..."

Don Sims

I bumped into my friend at the International Synesthesia Conference. All he could talk about was this amazing bakery he passed on his way to the event.

"The smells! They were... magnificent... transcendent!" he exclaimed. "Let's step up to the roof! I bet we could smell it from here!"

After following him up to the building's rooftop terrace, I couldn't smell a thing.

I asked where the bakery was and he pointed to a sign that was at least ten blocks away. "How am I supposed to smell anything from all the way over here?" I asked.

He looked at me like I was an idiot. "Duhh... that's why I brought my binoculars."

Don Sims

Lord Williams turns to his butler: "Jones, please prepare my black suit and binoculars. I'm going to a funeral."

"But why do you need binoculars?" asks Jones.

"My distant relative has died." Says Lord Williams.

Don Sims

Darwin, Freud and the Pope walk into a bar.

Sitting on the counter is a weird, creepy statue. As they walk in, it's eyes seem to follow them. They approach the bar, and to their shock the statue speaks. "Enjoy your beverages, mortals."

The three are stunned for a moment.

Darwin recovers first. "This obviously is a product of evolution. The statue has evolved and now has the ability to speak. Pure science, nothing to fear."

Freud laughs. "No, no, this is clearly a combination of hysterical delusions, coupled with projection of childhood fears and unfulfilled wishes. I've treated cases like this."

The Pope cries out "Can't you see, this is Satan at work!" He clutches his crucifix and says "Oh demonic messenger of Hell, i order you to reveal yourself. What in heaven's name are you???"

"I'm a ventriloquist." replies the bartender.

Don Sims

A physicist, a chemist and a computer scientist were traveling in a car.
The car breaks down and all three of them step out and stare at the car.

The physicist says, "Probably a mechanical failure, let's look at the engine."

The chemist says, "Unlikely, the fuel is probably of a low grade and must be the culprit."

The computer scientist says, "Let's try closing windows and opening windows and see if that fixes it."

Don Sims

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.

"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin bibere, meaning "to drink".

"I'll have a Campari," the entomologist says. "It was originally dyed with crushed beetles!"

The bartender gets them their drinks. "And for you, sir?" he asks the third man.

"I'm just wondering how I got here," the etiologist replies.

Don Sims

During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.



He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:

- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,

- Doesn't need heating

But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:

- Has great packaging.