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Technical Support Nightmares

Old 04-26-2007, 07:27 AM
  #1  
comp12
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Smile Technical Support Nightmares

REAL technical NIGHTMARES...

Tech Support: What is your User Name?

Customer: John Smith.

Tech Support: (searching for user name johnsmith to no avail) that's your user name, your login? The one your account uses?

Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: So, John Smith is the user name for your account?


Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: .. (search for customer account by last name, find a million Smiths.. finally finds account.) We have your user name listed as "wolf231".

Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: Not John Smith.

Customer: Yep.

Tech Support: ...


------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: What error message are you getting?

Customer: I'm not getting an error, it just won't connect.


Tech Support: Nothing comes up when you try to connect?

Customer: Nope, nothing happens at all. It doesn't say anything.

Tech Support: .. and nothing appears on the screen whatsoever?

Customer: Nope.

Tech Support: Well.. What happens to lead you to believe that it isn't working?

Customer: It says Error 691, User Name or Password ...


------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

Tech Support: Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."


Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."

Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

---------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.

Customer: Ok.

Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?

Customer: No.

Tech Support: Ok. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?

Customer: Not at all.

Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?

Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote down 'click'

Tech Support: Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?

Customer: Yes. Oh man! I've done something stupid, huh?

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Old 04-26-2007, 07:30 AM
  #2  
comp12
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Smile More Stories...Enjoy!

More Stories (Part II)


1. An AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later, a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

2. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and going across the room to close the door.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.


4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printer - but his computer still couldn't find it.


7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out ot be the mouse!

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"


9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with it, but I squeezed it in. When it said to put in the third disk - I just can't get it in at all!"

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Old 04-29-2007, 08:34 AM
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xuzme720
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wow!
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Old 04-29-2007, 10:39 AM
  #4  
Murocflyer
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Originally Posted by comp12 View Post
Tech Support: What error message are you getting?

Customer: I'm not getting an error, it just won't connect.


Tech Support: Nothing comes up when you try to connect?

Customer: Nope, nothing happens at all. It doesn't say anything.

Tech Support: .. and nothing appears on the screen whatsoever?

Customer: Nope.

Tech Support: Well.. What happens to lead you to believe that it isn't working?

Customer: It says Error 691, User Name or Password ...


:o That was me. :o


Frank (err I mean wolf231)
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Old 04-29-2007, 10:18 PM
  #5  
comp12
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Originally Posted by Murocflyer View Post
:o That was me. :o


Frank (err I mean wolf231)
Sure it was!
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