Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Today, 02:22 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb A turtle walks into a bar. He sits down and gets...

A turtle walks into a bar. He sits down and gets ready to order.
The bartender goes, "You're looking a little GREEN there friend, need some Ginger Ale?"
Everyone started laughing.
The turtle...
Forum: Humor
Today, 02:18 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy I got arrested today - apparently it's "illegal"...

I got arrested today - apparently it's "illegal" to shave, brush your teeth, make a phone call, take a nap, have a glass of wine and read a newspaper.
Driving stinks nowadays...
Forum: Humor
Today, 02:12 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got...

We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil. It's for Autumnmobiles
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:37 PM
Replies: 249
Views: 13,677
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review A mathematician, physicist and an engineer... ...

A mathematician, physicist and an engineer...

... are trying to determine the height of a building.

The mathematician tries to calculate the height of the building by using angle of elevation....
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:36 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

info The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but...

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:35 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Red face My wife sent me a text saying, “Your the best!” ...

My wife sent me a text saying, “Your the best!”

To which I replied, “No, you’re the best!”

She’s been on cloud 9 ever since, feeling so loved and in love.

I don’t have the heart to tell her...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:19 PM
Replies: 249
Views: 13,677
Posted By Don Sims

Interviewer: You said you are quick in...

Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty divided by sixty nine?

Man: Six thousand eight hundred and forty five.
...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:17 PM
Replies: 249
Views: 13,677
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered...

Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered from a debilitating bowel condition that would often result in him soiling himself unexpectedly.

However, it was impossible for him to tell when he...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:12 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

info What Does a Shark Call a Surfboard? A serve board.

What Does a Shark Call a Surfboard? A serve board.
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:10 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Red face One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the...

One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the clothes store...

He picks out a nice sweater, a couple pair of socks, a coat, etc. He pays for them and leaves.

He heads out and goes to get...
Forum: Power Systems
11-18-2022, 12:37 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 133
Posted By Don Sims

Is it "Your car warrentee is about to expire?"...

Is it "Your car warrentee is about to expire?" level of truth?
Forum: Humor
11-15-2022, 01:17 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

info Did you know turtles have the ability to...

Did you know turtles have the ability to understand puns? I wish they would have tortoise that in school.
Forum: Humor
11-15-2022, 01:15 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Post An elderly husband and wife are sitting watching...

An elderly husband and wife are sitting watching television when the husband starts to head out to the kitchen. Wife says...honey would you get me some ice cream? She says write it down because...
Forum: Humor
11-12-2022, 01:12 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

Post How do cows multiply? With cowculators!

How do cows multiply? With cowculators!
Forum: Humor
11-12-2022, 12:54 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow Today I put on a shirt with pockets. So now I...

Today I put on a shirt with pockets. So now I identify as a marsupial.
11-12-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 19
Views: 547
Posted By Don Sims

Looking good! Hope it flies as well!

Looking good! Hope it flies as well!
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

info Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day....

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:51 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

A woman pays a visit to her hairdresser: ...

A woman pays a visit to her hairdresser:

Hairdresser; "We haven't seen you for the longest time. Special occasion ? "

Customer; "Yes, I'm taking a vacation"

Hairdresser; "Oooo! Where are...
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:50 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb I'm going to write series of books on machine...

I'm going to write series of books on machine shop equipment:

Everything you can do with a drill press, and more, in "Beyond Boring"

Technical details about drills for different materials in...
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:48 PM
Replies: 249
Views: 13,677
Posted By Don Sims

info Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter, scientists...

Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter, scientists have recently discovered Doesn't Matter. It appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever.
11-11-2022, 12:15 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 247
Posted By Don Sims

https://www.faa.gov/training_testing/testing/acs/m...

https://www.faa.gov/training_testing/testing/acs/media/uas_acs.pdf
11-11-2022, 12:08 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 247
Posted By Don Sims

Thought it was drone pilots who only need to...

Thought it was drone pilots who only need to register.
Forum: Humor
11-07-2022, 01:06 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow When does an increase in degrees not lead to...

When does an increase in degrees not lead to warmer temperatures? When you get your Masters in Art History, but you still can't pay the heating bill.
Forum: Humor
11-07-2022, 01:03 PM
Replies: 249
Views: 13,677
Posted By Don Sims

info A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed...

A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed a lion, an elephant, and a hippopotamus, and awarded the skins to his three squires back home in his kingdom. Thus, the three squires became known as...
Forum: Humor
11-07-2022, 01:01 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks...

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher.

He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown plants."

The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in...
Forum: Humor
11-07-2022, 12:58 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45...

A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and...
Forum: Humor
11-06-2022, 01:26 PM
Replies: 109
Views: 2,171
Posted By Don Sims

Red face Who helps little pumpkins cross the street? The...

Who helps little pumpkins cross the street? The crossing gourd
Forum: Humor
11-05-2022, 01:20 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy Passengers on a small commuter plane were waiting...

Passengers on a small commuter plane were waiting for the flight to leave. They were getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assured them that the pilots would be there soon.

Finally,...
Forum: Humor
11-05-2022, 01:12 PM
Replies: 249
Views: 13,677
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over...

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better.

They decided to settle the argument by posing questions. The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated...
Forum: Humor
11-05-2022, 01:10 PM
Replies: 116
Yep
Views: 1,750
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the...

After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to "Go forth and multiply!"...

The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind.

When Noah asked them why, they...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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