Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
11-27-2021, 01:07 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs up A guy and his friend are sitting on a sofa having...

A guy and his friend are sitting on a sofa having a few beers.

Guy #1 - “What would you do if we found out an asteroid was going to hit the earth in one hour?”

Guy #2 - “I would make love to...
Forum: Humor
11-17-2021, 01:53 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

What made Jupiter’s surprise party go off with...

What made Jupiter’s surprise party go off with out a hitch?

Mars, Uranus, and Venus really knew how to planet.
Forum: Humor
11-16-2021, 12:43 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto walk into a bar. ...

Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto walk into a bar.

After sitting down, Jupiter says: "I'm the biggest planet, give me the biggest beer you have."

Saturn says: "I'm the best looking planet, give me the...
Forum: Humor
11-15-2021, 02:37 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Question Einstein and Newton are in a bar. Einstein...

Einstein and Newton are in a bar.

Einstein says to Newton, "I've found mathematically that as an object travels faster and faster, it experiences time lower and is squished in the direction...
Forum: Humor
11-12-2021, 11:57 AM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Question Vin Diesel was riding his bike at the speed of...

Vin Diesel was riding his bike at the speed of light when a man asked him for a lift.

Vin Diesel stopped for him to hop on and continued riding at the speed of light.

After a while the man...
Forum: Humor
11-07-2021, 12:58 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

info A son asks his dad, "Daddy, what is string...

A son asks his dad, "Daddy, what is string theory?"

The dad replies, "Why are you asking me such difficult questions, come on ask me something easier."

The son then asks, "Um, ok so why does...
Forum: Humor
11-04-2021, 12:30 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first orders a mug, the second a half, the third a quarter, and so on.

The bartender pours them 2 whole mugs and says, "Sort it out...
Forum: Humor
11-03-2021, 12:26 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

A priest, an engineer and a mathematician stand...

A priest, an engineer and a mathematician stand on the roof of a burning house. The only way down seems to be a big leap down into a nearby pool. The house is high though and the pool small.

The...
Forum: Humor
11-03-2021, 12:25 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Question A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are...

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are tasked with finding the volume of a rubber ball.

The mathematician takes the ball, measures its diameter, then calculates the volume.

The...
Forum: Humor
10-24-2021, 12:21 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over...

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better. They decided to settle the argument by posing questions.

The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated...
Forum: Humor
10-24-2021, 12:20 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

A mathematician arrives at work on a bike. ...

A mathematician arrives at work on a bike.

His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"

"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly this young woman comes along...
Forum: Humor
10-05-2021, 12:44 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

I tried to run a statistical experiment on the...

I tried to run a statistical experiment on the effect of dehydration on human urine volume.

But the p-value was too low.
Forum: Humor
10-05-2021, 12:42 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation In a hotel a engineer, a physicist and a...

In a hotel a engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are sleeping when a fire breaks out.

The engineer wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the next fire extinguisher and starts spraying.... After...
Forum: Humor
08-17-2021, 02:58 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

A group of wealthy investors wanted to be able to...

A group of wealthy investors wanted to be able to predict the outcome of a horse race. So they hired a group of biologists, a group of statisticians, and a group of physicists. Each group was given a...
Forum: Humor
08-15-2021, 01:23 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation All the natural disasters took a vote to see...

All the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.

Hurricanes blew the others away.

Earthquakes shook things up pretty badly.

Flooding was a bit of a wash.

Blizzards...
Forum: Humor
07-30-2021, 02:00 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

In the distant future when interstellar space...

In the distant future when interstellar space travel is common place, scientists are traveling through galaxies to find life on other planets.

On one planet many light years away, they find a...
Forum: Humor
07-28-2021, 01:52 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

A photon and an ion went to the airport. ...

A photon and an ion went to the airport.

When they got there, the other passengers were surprised to see the ion handed his ticket without paying, and the photon get waved through security.
...
Forum: Humor
07-28-2021, 01:52 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb A mechanical engineer, an electronics engineer,...

A mechanical engineer, an electronics engineer, and a software engineer were test driving a new automobile.

While going down a steep hill, the brakes started to fail. The car careened down the...
Forum: Humor
07-24-2021, 03:28 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

An engineering student, a geometry major, and a...

An engineering student, a geometry major, and a star basketball player are trapped on a desert island

They’re debating how to get off the island or get rescued. The engineering student looks...
Forum: Humor
07-24-2021, 03:24 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Smile Darwin, Freud and the Pope walk into a bar. ...

Darwin, Freud and the Pope walk into a bar.

Sitting on the counter is a weird, creepy statue. As they walk in, it's eyes seem to follow them.

They approach the bar, and to their shock the...
Forum: Humor
07-22-2021, 01:53 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb There once was a mathematician. He made it...

There once was a mathematician.

He made it his life’s goal to tackle one of the greatest unsolved calculus problems in history. For months he worked, filling blackboards with numbers and lines, to...
Forum: Humor
07-21-2021, 02:50 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

There are many problems with math puns. ...

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But...
Forum: Humor
07-17-2021, 12:43 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Calculus walks into a bar. He sits down and...

Calculus walks into a bar.

He sits down and orders a pint. The barman notices him scribbling some notes on a napkin and asks what he's writing.

Calculus replies, "Oh this... I'm just working on...
Forum: Humor
07-05-2021, 01:01 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

A man decides to open his own Plant Nursery....

A man decides to open his own Plant Nursery. After a few months his business starts going under so he goes to apply for a loan

The loan officer goes to the place of business and asks a couple...
Forum: Humor
07-01-2021, 12:48 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

An electron is driving really fast when a cop...

An electron is driving really fast when a cop pulls it over.

"Do you even know how fast you were going there?" asks the cop.

"Of course," replies the electron, "I knew exactly how fast I was...
Forum: Humor
07-01-2021, 12:47 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs up Someone should make an electronics shop that...

Someone should make an electronics shop that sells resistors and call it:

The Ohm Depot
Forum: Humor
06-30-2021, 11:37 AM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

An optimist sees a glass half full. A...

An optimist sees a glass half full.

A pessimist sees it half empty.

An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.
Forum: Humor
06-30-2021, 11:36 AM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

Question A Red Dwarf star, a Main Sequence star, and a...

A Red Dwarf star, a Main Sequence star, and a neutron star are all hanging out and telling stories.

The Red Dwarf decides to share a joke. He says, "What’s a light-year?"

"It's the same as a...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2021, 12:18 PM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

During a biology exam a student has to list three...

During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.



He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:

- Contains all the nutrients a baby...
Forum: Humor
06-15-2021, 11:34 AM
Replies: 79
Views: 3,792
Posted By Don Sims

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an...

An etymologist, an entomologist, and an etiologist walk into a bar.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asks.

"I'll have a beer," the etymologist says. "A word which comes from Latin bibere, meaning...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 71
 


 
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