Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Today, 11:31 AM
Replies: 252
Views: 13,823
Posted By Don Sims

A driver in England stops for a hitchhiker. The...

A driver in England stops for a hitchhiker. The hitchhiker is a Dalek.

Driver: Where ya headed, mate?

Dalek: Devon, mate.

Driver: That's where I'm going. Where in Devon?

Dalek: Exeter,...
Forum: Humor
Today, 11:30 AM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

Post Why is yeast a popular microorganism? Because...

Why is yeast a popular microorganism? Because he's a fun-guy
Forum: Humor
Today, 11:19 AM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation It was the end of the school year, and a teacher...

It was the end of the school year, and a teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florists son handed her a wrapped gift. She gently shook it, held it overhead and said, "I bet I know what...
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 01:27 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

Website....We use cookies to improve performance....

Website....We use cookies to improve performance. Me...Same.
Forum: Humor
11-29-2022, 12:34 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

Angry I lost my job as a wine taster. I was fired for...

I lost my job as a wine taster. I was fired for not drinking on the job.
Forum: Humor
11-29-2022, 12:29 PM
Replies: 252
Views: 13,823
Posted By Don Sims

Question 100 is a nice round number The European is...

100 is a nice round number

The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?

The American: 100, of course

The European: 100? Why not 62*, or 37*?...
Forum: Humor
11-29-2022, 12:12 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Question I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let...

I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I’ll let you know what comes first.
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
Because it’s pointless.
Why...
Forum: Humor
11-27-2022, 02:01 PM
Replies: 252
Views: 13,823
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are...

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trapped underground in a collapsed mine.

After some exploring of the area, they come across three rations of canned food that they all agree will...
Forum: Humor
11-27-2022, 01:56 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

A couple of nights ago my wife and I decided to...

A couple of nights ago my wife and I decided to go to a local pub and have a couple of drinks and listen to music. On the way home I looked in the rear view mirror to see blue lights flashing.
I...
Forum: Humor
11-27-2022, 01:54 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her...

Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
Forum: Humor
11-26-2022, 02:22 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb A turtle walks into a bar. He sits down and gets...

A turtle walks into a bar. He sits down and gets ready to order.
The bartender goes, "You're looking a little GREEN there friend, need some Ginger Ale?"
Everyone started laughing.
The turtle...
Forum: Humor
11-26-2022, 02:18 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy I got arrested today - apparently it's "illegal"...

I got arrested today - apparently it's "illegal" to shave, brush your teeth, make a phone call, take a nap, have a glass of wine and read a newspaper.
Driving stinks nowadays...
Forum: Humor
11-26-2022, 02:12 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got...

We got our Seasonal bulk in at work today and got Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil. It's for Autumnmobiles
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:37 PM
Replies: 252
Views: 13,823
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review A mathematician, physicist and an engineer... ...

A mathematician, physicist and an engineer...

... are trying to determine the height of a building.

The mathematician tries to calculate the height of the building by using angle of elevation....
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:36 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

info The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but...

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blown away by the leaf blower.
Forum: Humor
11-19-2022, 01:35 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Red face My wife sent me a text saying, “Your the best!” ...

My wife sent me a text saying, “Your the best!”

To which I replied, “No, you’re the best!”

She’s been on cloud 9 ever since, feeling so loved and in love.

I don’t have the heart to tell her...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:19 PM
Replies: 252
Views: 13,823
Posted By Don Sims

Interviewer: You said you are quick in...

Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty divided by sixty nine?

Man: Six thousand eight hundred and forty five.
...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:17 PM
Replies: 252
Views: 13,823
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered...

Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger suffered from a debilitating bowel condition that would often result in him soiling himself unexpectedly.

However, it was impossible for him to tell when he...
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:12 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

info What Does a Shark Call a Surfboard? A serve board.

What Does a Shark Call a Surfboard? A serve board.
Forum: Humor
11-18-2022, 01:10 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Red face One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the...

One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the clothes store...

He picks out a nice sweater, a couple pair of socks, a coat, etc. He pays for them and leaves.

He heads out and goes to get...
Forum: Power Systems
11-18-2022, 12:37 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 179
Posted By Don Sims

Is it "Your car warrentee is about to expire?"...

Is it "Your car warrentee is about to expire?" level of truth?
Forum: Humor
11-15-2022, 01:17 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

info Did you know turtles have the ability to...

Did you know turtles have the ability to understand puns? I wish they would have tortoise that in school.
Forum: Humor
11-15-2022, 01:15 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Post An elderly husband and wife are sitting watching...

An elderly husband and wife are sitting watching television when the husband starts to head out to the kitchen. Wife says...honey would you get me some ice cream? She says write it down because...
Forum: Humor
11-12-2022, 01:12 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

Post How do cows multiply? With cowculators!

How do cows multiply? With cowculators!
Forum: Humor
11-12-2022, 12:54 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow Today I put on a shirt with pockets. So now I...

Today I put on a shirt with pockets. So now I identify as a marsupial.
11-12-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 19
Views: 638
Posted By Don Sims

Looking good! Hope it flies as well!

Looking good! Hope it flies as well!
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 113
Views: 2,234
Posted By Don Sims

info Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day....

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:51 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

A woman pays a visit to her hairdresser: ...

A woman pays a visit to her hairdresser:

Hairdresser; "We haven't seen you for the longest time. Special occasion ? "

Customer; "Yes, I'm taking a vacation"

Hairdresser; "Oooo! Where are...
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:50 PM
Replies: 119
Yep
Views: 1,830
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb I'm going to write series of books on machine...

I'm going to write series of books on machine shop equipment:

Everything you can do with a drill press, and more, in "Beyond Boring"

Technical details about drills for different materials in...
Forum: Humor
11-11-2022, 12:48 PM
Replies: 252
Views: 13,823
Posted By Don Sims

info Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter, scientists...

Along with Antimatter and Dark Matter, scientists have recently discovered Doesn't Matter. It appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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