Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 11:45 AM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a...

On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a Scotsman go to a pastry shop.

The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.

The Englishman says...
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 11:41 AM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down Gas prices are getting ridiculous, I went online...

Gas prices are getting ridiculous, I went online to check the value of my car and it asked if the tank was empty or full.
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 11:36 AM
Replies: 187
Views: 8,513
Posted By Don Sims

info A rotund fashion designer found a time machine. ...

A rotund fashion designer found a time machine.

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient Rome. He...
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 11:34 AM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and...

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and asked him to tell him the numbers that will change his life.

The oracle took his glass orb, searched the man's future and told him “The numbers I see...
06-19-2022, 10:35 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 103
Posted By Don Sims

Nice flyer and hope the batteries didn't fry.

Nice flyer and hope the batteries didn't fry.
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:40 AM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review Two blondes were on a plane to New York. ...

Two blondes were on a plane to New York.

About two hours into the flight, the pilot speaks over the intercom, "Attention ladies and gentlemen, we appear to have burst one of our engines. No need...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:36 AM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip...

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:33 AM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance...

Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:32 AM
Replies: 187
Views: 8,513
Posted By Don Sims

info Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and...

Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
...
Forum: Humor
06-11-2022, 12:40 PM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down So this entrepreneur is setting up a bungee...

So this entrepreneur is setting up a bungee jumping tower in Mexico.

And of course all the construction and publicity has garnered a crowd. Well the entrepreneur, seeing an opportunity to wow the...
Forum: Humor
06-10-2022, 12:05 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 8,513
Posted By Don Sims

info When you say "poop," your mouth make the same...

When you say "poop," your mouth make the same motion that your bottom makes when you actually poop...... This is a rare phenomenon known as onomato-poo-a.
Forum: Humor
06-10-2022, 12:00 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

Cool My wife is blaming me for messing up her...

My wife is blaming me for messing up her birthday. She is so absurd. I didn't even know it was her birthday!
Forum: Humor
06-10-2022, 11:58 AM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

"Make me one with everything," says the Zen...

"Make me one with everything," says the Zen master to the tofu hot dog vendor.

Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Zen master hands the vendor a $20 bill.

The vendor takes the money and...
Forum: Humor
06-09-2022, 12:57 PM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

Question I met an old friend from high school the other...

I met an old friend from high school the other day, and I couldn't believe how wealthy he had become. He ran a massively successful business, but could barely get a passing grade in math class when I...
Forum: Humor
06-09-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

Blunt pencils are really pointless.

Blunt pencils are really pointless.
Forum: Humor
06-09-2022, 12:52 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

I was going to buy an invisible sword.. But I...

I was going to buy an invisible sword.. But I don't see the point.
Forum: Humor
06-08-2022, 11:04 AM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy Me to my therapist: I feel like I'm invisible to...

Me to my therapist: I feel like I'm invisible to people..Therapist: Who said that?
Forum: Humor
06-08-2022, 11:02 AM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a...

When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason!

So I've worked all my life to invent a time machine of my own, and I'm going back to when he was little...
Forum: Humor
06-07-2022, 01:08 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 8,513
Posted By Don Sims

Red face An electron walks into a bar. The bartender...

An electron walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "What'll you have?"
The electron replies, "I'm not positive. How about something that excites me?"
Forum: Humor
06-04-2022, 12:20 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

info What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes? Open toad...

What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes? Open toad sandals.
Forum: Humor
06-04-2022, 12:18 PM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb Bubba and Billy Bob are walking down the street...

Bubba and Billy Bob are walking down the street in Atlanta, and they see a sign on a store which reads:

“Suits $5.00 each! Shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 each”

Bubba says to his pal, “Billy...
Forum: Humor
06-03-2022, 11:51 AM
Replies: 187
Views: 8,513
Posted By Don Sims

A man plants 49 trees in his back yard He...

A man plants 49 trees in his back yard

He tends to them every day and always takes the best care of them. They are his pride and joy! They all grow up pretty fast and very healthy as a result of...
Forum: Humor
06-03-2022, 11:49 AM
Replies: 187
Views: 8,513
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Two chemists were having a conversation. At...

Two chemists were having a conversation.

At one point, the first chemist says, "I'm afraid I forgot a couple polyatomic ion formulas."

The second one replies, "Which ones?"

"Hydroxide and...
06-03-2022, 10:49 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 303
Posted By Don Sims

Nicely done website Ron. Happy to see they are...

Nicely done website Ron. Happy to see they are back.
Forum: ParkFlyers
06-03-2022, 10:46 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 316
Posted By Don Sims

Nice flight and looked like you had plenty of...

Nice flight and looked like you had plenty of help! The ground crew is well trained.
Forum: Humor
05-31-2022, 11:40 AM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

info So there are these two rich old men who live next...

So there are these two rich old men who live next to each other...

At the on the border of their land is a pool that conjoins the two luxurious estates. In this pool each man has a pet dolphin....
Forum: Humor
05-30-2022, 12:28 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

info I asked a friend if he likes his job at the...

I asked a friend if he likes his job at the battery factory. He said it has pluses and minuses...
Forum: Humor
05-30-2022, 12:15 PM
Replies: 42
Yep
Views: 605
Posted By Don Sims

info Two older couples are hanging out together. ...

Two older couples are hanging out together.

While the ladies are talking in the kitchen, Jim said, "Bill, we ate at a really good restaurant the other night. The food was good, the prices were...
Forum: Humor
05-29-2022, 01:32 PM
Replies: 187
Views: 8,513
Posted By Don Sims

Angry Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from...

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources....
Forum: Humor
05-29-2022, 01:08 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 856
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in...

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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