Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Today, 12:02 PM
Replies: 175
Views: 7,347
Posted By Don Sims

Angry "Hydrogen monoxide! Hydrogen monoxide! Hydrogen...

"Hydrogen monoxide! Hydrogen monoxide! Hydrogen monoxide!", shouted Santa.

Asking a chemistry teacher to play Santa this year seemed to have backfired.
Forum: Humor
Today, 11:59 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

info Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a...

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
Forum: Humor
Today, 11:57 AM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs up An American walks into an Irish pub. He says to...

An American walks into an Irish pub. He says to the patrons, "I'll bet $500 that none of you can drink 10 pints of Guinness in 10 minutes."

People raise their heads but ignore the absurd bet and...
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 01:10 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s...

The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it’s still on the list.
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 01:08 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

info A grandmother was surprised when she wakes up to...

A grandmother was surprised when she wakes up to a cup of coffee from her 8 year old grandson.

She gulped down the most bitter coffee she has ever tasted but she downs it all because she wants her...
Forum: Humor
05-19-2022, 12:19 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 34
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review Easy fix

A soap factory had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes without the bar inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the buyers and distributors.

Understanding how important these...
Forum: Humor
05-19-2022, 12:16 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow My friend asked why I always talked quietly. I...

My friend asked why I always talked quietly. I told them it was because I didn't want corporations spying on me.

They laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed...
Forum: Humor
05-19-2022, 12:10 PM
Replies: 175
Views: 7,347
Posted By Don Sims

Red face Have you heard of the upcoming movie where a time...

Have you heard of the upcoming movie where a time traveler gets transformed into a chicken?

It's called Bawk to the Future.
Forum: Humor
05-19-2022, 12:08 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

Question If sound cannot travel in a vacuum, why are...

If sound cannot travel in a vacuum, why are vacuums so noisy?
Forum: Humor
05-18-2022, 12:25 PM
Replies: 175
Views: 7,347
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy I opened both my water and my electricity bills...

I opened both my water and my electricity bills at once.

Needless to say, I was shocked.
Forum: Humor
05-18-2022, 12:23 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs up Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll...

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.
Forum: Humor
05-18-2022, 12:21 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

info I was doing some shopping at the supermarket and...

I was doing some shopping at the supermarket and had a cart full of groceries and a lovely bouquet of flowers. Coincidentally, my wife walked in just as I was checking out.

She noticed the flowers...
Forum: Humor
05-18-2022, 12:19 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

Red face I posted a really good time travel joke next week.

I posted a really good time travel joke next week.
Forum: Humor
05-17-2022, 12:32 PM
Replies: 175
Views: 7,347
Posted By Don Sims

Question Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon? ...

Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon?

They only come in quartz!
Forum: Humor
05-17-2022, 12:29 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time...

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Forum: Humor
05-17-2022, 12:27 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb A woman just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she...

A woman just had twins, a boy and a girl, and she hasn't decided yet what to name them.

Coincidentally her long lost uncle has just come into town. The mother decides, because it's such a special...
Forum: Humor
05-16-2022, 01:18 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

People who use selfie sticks really need to have...

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.
Forum: Humor
05-16-2022, 01:16 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

Post There's a beer convention in town, and all the...

There's a beer convention in town, and all the CEOs from all the beer companies are there. During a break between seminars, a few of them went down to the hotel bar for a drink.

The Anheuser Busch...
Forum: Humor
05-16-2022, 01:10 PM
Replies: 175
Views: 7,347
Posted By Don Sims

Before invention of electricity Judge: I...

Before invention of electricity

Judge: I sentence you to death by the acoustic chair.
05-16-2022, 12:17 PM
Replies: 5,518
Views: 1,175,355
Posted By Don Sims

Welcome to the site!

Welcome to the site!
Forum: Humor
05-15-2022, 12:52 PM
Replies: 175
Views: 7,347
Posted By Don Sims

Question How many physicians do you need to interrupt the...

How many physicians do you need to interrupt the space time continuum?

It takes a paradox.
Forum: Humor
05-15-2022, 12:46 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too...

A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:19 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

Question A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the...

A termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:18 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 42
Posted By Don Sims

info Cowboy and his beer

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer...

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them,...
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:15 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 35
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb CEO advice

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation.

The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three envelopes number 1, 2 and 3. "Open...
Forum: Humor
05-14-2022, 12:12 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His...

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog is thrilled!...
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:24 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the...

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for...
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:22 PM
Replies: 24
Yep
Views: 356
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review Intoxicated conversation at a bar... Patron...

Intoxicated conversation at a bar...

Patron 1: What ticks you off?

Patron 2: Nouns.

Patron 1: Nouns?

Patron 2 Yep, nouns. People, places, and things!
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:20 PM
Replies: 175
Views: 7,347
Posted By Don Sims

info How is life like an electricity? You start...

How is life like an electricity?

You start from null, you have few phases, and then comes the grounding.
Forum: Humor
05-13-2022, 12:19 PM
Replies: 35
Views: 617
Posted By Don Sims

How can you make a cow invisible? Camooflage

How can you make a cow invisible? Camooflage
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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