Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 11:34 AM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Question I believe pencils are superior to pens,...

I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?
Forum: Humor
Yesterday, 11:32 AM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

info Supposedly a ranger at Yosemite NP, when...

Supposedly a ranger at Yosemite NP, when commenting on the difficulty of designing a perfect garbage bin to keep bears from breaking in to it, replied, "There is considerable overlap between the...
Forum: Humor
06-28-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Have you noticed, if you Google the phrase "Lost...

Have you noticed, if you Google the phrase "Lost Medieval Servant Boy. "It comes back with, "This page could not be found."
Forum: Humor
06-28-2022, 12:50 PM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Angry A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago ...

A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago

A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."

The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"

The man...
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:36 PM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review My husband was out of town for work and I was...

My husband was out of town for work and I was left to tend to myself...

He asked me not to call during working hours unless it was an emergency, but I wasn't sure what car trouble would be...
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:34 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Wink I never called you stupid. But when I asked you...

I never called you stupid. But when I asked you to spell "orange" and you asked if I meant the color or the fruit, it kinda caught me off guard.
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:33 PM
Replies: 189
Views: 8,757
Posted By Don Sims

Kid: "You're always coming up with new rules and...

Kid: "You're always coming up with new rules and reasons!"

Mom: "Like what?"

Kid: " Like if I don't clean my room, a portal will open and I'll fall into another dimension and never be seen...
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:29 PM
Replies: 189
Views: 8,757
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll...

I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll forever be seared into my mind...

...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:16 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

info My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do...

My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do together.. I said great. We can put some music on, have a few drinks, and assemble the avengers.
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:13 PM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Red face A man with a dog walks into a bar in New Jersey. ...

A man with a dog walks into a bar in New Jersey.

He says to the barman, "This dog can talk."

The bartender replies, "What? Get outta here."

The man with the dog then says, "It's true, I...
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:12 PM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb The Police are on the lookout for two men whom...

The Police are on the lookout for two men whom they allege stole the police station toilet...

They say there is very little evidence, and they have nothing to go on...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:45 AM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a...

On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a Scotsman go to a pastry shop.

The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.

The Englishman says...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:41 AM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down Gas prices are getting ridiculous, I went online...

Gas prices are getting ridiculous, I went online to check the value of my car and it asked if the tank was empty or full.
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:36 AM
Replies: 189
Views: 8,757
Posted By Don Sims

info A rotund fashion designer found a time machine. ...

A rotund fashion designer found a time machine.

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient Rome. He...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:34 AM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and...

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and asked him to tell him the numbers that will change his life.

The oracle took his glass orb, searched the man's future and told him “The numbers I see...
06-19-2022, 10:35 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 151
Posted By Don Sims

Nice flyer and hope the batteries didn't fry.

Nice flyer and hope the batteries didn't fry.
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:40 AM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review Two blondes were on a plane to New York. ...

Two blondes were on a plane to New York.

About two hours into the flight, the pilot speaks over the intercom, "Attention ladies and gentlemen, we appear to have burst one of our engines. No need...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:36 AM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip...

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:33 AM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance...

Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:32 AM
Replies: 189
Views: 8,757
Posted By Don Sims

info Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and...

Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
...
Forum: Humor
06-11-2022, 12:40 PM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down So this entrepreneur is setting up a bungee...

So this entrepreneur is setting up a bungee jumping tower in Mexico.

And of course all the construction and publicity has garnered a crowd. Well the entrepreneur, seeing an opportunity to wow the...
Forum: Humor
06-10-2022, 12:05 PM
Replies: 189
Views: 8,757
Posted By Don Sims

info When you say "poop," your mouth make the same...

When you say "poop," your mouth make the same motion that your bottom makes when you actually poop...... This is a rare phenomenon known as onomato-poo-a.
Forum: Humor
06-10-2022, 12:00 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Cool My wife is blaming me for messing up her...

My wife is blaming me for messing up her birthday. She is so absurd. I didn't even know it was her birthday!
Forum: Humor
06-10-2022, 11:58 AM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

"Make me one with everything," says the Zen...

"Make me one with everything," says the Zen master to the tofu hot dog vendor.

Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Zen master hands the vendor a $20 bill.

The vendor takes the money and...
Forum: Humor
06-09-2022, 12:57 PM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Question I met an old friend from high school the other...

I met an old friend from high school the other day, and I couldn't believe how wealthy he had become. He ran a massively successful business, but could barely get a passing grade in math class when I...
Forum: Humor
06-09-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Blunt pencils are really pointless.

Blunt pencils are really pointless.
Forum: Humor
06-09-2022, 12:52 PM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

I was going to buy an invisible sword.. But I...

I was going to buy an invisible sword.. But I don't see the point.
Forum: Humor
06-08-2022, 11:04 AM
Replies: 53
Views: 922
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy Me to my therapist: I feel like I'm invisible to...

Me to my therapist: I feel like I'm invisible to people..Therapist: Who said that?
Forum: Humor
06-08-2022, 11:02 AM
Replies: 48
Yep
Views: 673
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a...

When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason!

So I've worked all my life to invent a time machine of my own, and I'm going back to when he was little...
Forum: Humor
06-07-2022, 01:08 PM
Replies: 189
Views: 8,757
Posted By Don Sims

Red face An electron walks into a bar. The bartender...

An electron walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "What'll you have?"
The electron replies, "I'm not positive. How about something that excites me?"
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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