Search: Posts Made By: Don Sims
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07-04-2022, 12:49 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 87
Posted By Don Sims

Sure hate to hear this Nigel. Listen to the...

Sure hate to hear this Nigel. Listen to the doctors and your body and heal well. Better a few months of no boating and flying then years of extra pain.
Forum: Humor
07-02-2022, 01:10 PM
Replies: 192
Views: 8,914
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation I see Freddie Mercury has had an asteroid named...

I see Freddie Mercury has had an asteroid named after him.

His surviving family have said how great it is to finally have Freddie immortalized in rock, and really appreciate the sediment.
Forum: Humor
07-02-2022, 01:08 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

An elderly couple go to church one Sunday....

An elderly couple go to church one Sunday. Halfway through the service, the wife leans over and whispers in her husbands ear, "I've just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

The...
Forum: Humor
07-02-2022, 01:07 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Red face A little boy came home from the playground with a...

A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.

It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his...
Forum: Humor
07-02-2022, 01:04 PM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

Question If you donít pay your exorcist, do you get...

If you donít pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
Forum: Humor
07-01-2022, 12:52 PM
Replies: 192
Views: 8,914
Posted By Don Sims

What did the black hole say after it swallowed an...

What did the black hole say after it swallowed an asteroid?

"It was good, but I wish it been a little meteor."
Forum: Humor
07-01-2022, 12:51 PM
Replies: 192
Views: 8,914
Posted By Don Sims

Question Whatís the difference between cortisone and a...

Whatís the difference between cortisone and a small body typically orbiting between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter?

Oneís a steroid, and the other is an asteroid.
Forum: Humor
07-01-2022, 12:47 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow A pirate walked into a bar. He had a wooden...

A pirate walked into a bar.

He had a wooden leg, an eye patch and a hook for a hand. The bartender was curious.

"How did you get that wooden leg?" he asked.

The pirate took a swig of ale....
Forum: Humor
07-01-2022, 12:45 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Talking The teacher wants her students to express their...

The teacher wants her students to express their love to their mother, so she asks them to create a sentence with the phrase "There is only one mom".

It's the first student's time, and he answers...
Forum: Humor
07-01-2022, 12:42 PM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

Unhappy My friendís bakery burned down last night. Now...

My friendís bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
Forum: Humor
06-29-2022, 11:34 AM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

Question I believe pencils are superior to pens,...

I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?
Forum: Humor
06-29-2022, 11:32 AM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

info Supposedly a ranger at Yosemite NP, when...

Supposedly a ranger at Yosemite NP, when commenting on the difficulty of designing a perfect garbage bin to keep bears from breaking in to it, replied, "There is considerable overlap between the...
Forum: Humor
06-28-2022, 12:53 PM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Have you noticed, if you Google the phrase "Lost...

Have you noticed, if you Google the phrase "Lost Medieval Servant Boy. "It comes back with, "This page could not be found."
Forum: Humor
06-28-2022, 12:50 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Angry A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago ...

A New Yorker Asks for a Cab Ride to Chicago

A man gets in a cab at 33rd St. and Park Ave. and says, "I need to get to the Palmer House."

The cabbie says, "The Palmer House Hotel?"

The man...
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:36 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review My husband was out of town for work and I was...

My husband was out of town for work and I was left to tend to myself...

He asked me not to call during working hours unless it was an emergency, but I wasn't sure what car trouble would be...
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:34 PM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

Wink I never called you stupid. But when I asked you...

I never called you stupid. But when I asked you to spell "orange" and you asked if I meant the color or the fruit, it kinda caught me off guard.
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:33 PM
Replies: 192
Views: 8,914
Posted By Don Sims

Kid: "You're always coming up with new rules and...

Kid: "You're always coming up with new rules and reasons!"

Mom: "Like what?"

Kid: " Like if I don't clean my room, a portal will open and I'll fall into another dimension and never be seen...
Forum: Humor
06-27-2022, 12:29 PM
Replies: 192
Views: 8,914
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll...

I'll never forget this solar eclipse, it'll forever be seared into my mind...

...and retinas. I really should've worn some glasses.
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:16 PM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

info My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do...

My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do together.. I said great. We can put some music on, have a few drinks, and assemble the avengers.
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:13 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Red face A man with a dog walks into a bar in New Jersey. ...

A man with a dog walks into a bar in New Jersey.

He says to the barman, "This dog can talk."

The bartender replies, "What? Get outta here."

The man with the dog then says, "It's true, I...
Forum: Humor
06-26-2022, 12:12 PM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb The Police are on the lookout for two men whom...

The Police are on the lookout for two men whom they allege stole the police station toilet...

They say there is very little evidence, and they have nothing to go on...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:45 AM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Lightbulb On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a...

On a visit to New York, an Englishman and a Scotsman go to a pastry shop.

The Englishman whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice.

The Englishman says...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:41 AM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

Thumbs down Gas prices are getting ridiculous, I went online...

Gas prices are getting ridiculous, I went online to check the value of my car and it asked if the tank was empty or full.
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:36 AM
Replies: 192
Views: 8,914
Posted By Don Sims

info A rotund fashion designer found a time machine. ...

A rotund fashion designer found a time machine.

Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.

He soon found himself in ancient Rome. He...
Forum: Humor
06-24-2022, 11:34 AM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and...

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and asked him to tell him the numbers that will change his life.

The oracle took his glass orb, searched the man's future and told him “The numbers I see...
06-19-2022, 10:35 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 230
Posted By Don Sims

Nice flyer and hope the batteries didn't fry.

Nice flyer and hope the batteries didn't fry.
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:40 AM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Build Review Two blondes were on a plane to New York. ...

Two blondes were on a plane to New York.

About two hours into the flight, the pilot speaks over the intercom, "Attention ladies and gentlemen, we appear to have burst one of our engines. No need...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:36 AM
Replies: 53
Yep
Views: 733
Posted By Don Sims

Exclamation Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip...

Two guys from New York go on a cross-country trip and end up walking into a bar in Kansas.

After a few too many drinks, one of the guys asks the bartender, "Hey, can you tell us how to go cow...
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:33 AM
Replies: 55
Views: 961
Posted By Don Sims

Arrow Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance...

Refusing to go to the gym is a form of resistance training.
Forum: Humor
06-18-2022, 11:32 AM
Replies: 192
Views: 8,914
Posted By Don Sims

info Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and...

Scene: It's a fine, sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
...
Showing results 1 to 30 of 500
 


 
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